Healing is a lifelong process – one that is necessary if we want to grow and lead meaningful lives. When talking about healing a cut or physical wound, we all know the basics: clean the wound, ice it, put a band-aid on it, etc. For a severe physical injury, we may not know the exact details of the healing process, but we’d know the first steps to take like calling 911 or going to the hospital. When it comes to emotional and relational healing, most of us don't have a clue where to begin. 

Eight years ago I fell into a black hole. I recovered a repressed memory from childhood, I got vaginismus (read: my vagina broke), and I started having daily panic attacks. I had always struggled with depression, anxiety, and a slew of other issues but I thought that was simply a part of living. When I realized that I needed professional help, I was able to find a therapist and get financial assistance from quality insurance and my parents. Without my access to resources, I don’t think I would have made it to today. When I realized this, I knew that part of my purpose in this world is to provide resources for others. I want to help you climb out of the depths, find hope and reconnect with whatever it is that excites about living in this crazy world. Learn more about me here.

When I started my journey I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew that I could not continue life the way it was. My knowledge of healing comes from my own research and journey; I love to connect with others and learn, so I am always looking for new information and ways to grow. As I write this, I hope my words will serve as a resource for those of you who are feeling lost, stuck or plain fed up. No matter what weight we may carry, there are changes we can make to find relief and wholeness. Here are some key components of what healing has looked like for me.

Healing is Personal
First and foremost, healing is personal. It looks and feels different for everyone. Some people take on everything at once, while others work in smaller steps, focusing on one issue at a time. Each of us has a unique story and personality, so the way that we accept, process and let go looks different. One thing that is true for everyone: healing takes time and consistent effort on your part. What worked for someone else may not work for you, so take the advice you get with a grain of salt and listen to your gut feelings. Your healing is for you and no one else, so be patient with yourself and take things as they come.

Healing Requires Intentional Time Spent on Healing
In the wise words of my friend Mikey, “You gotta feel it to heal it.” No matter what method(s) of healing you choose, there is really no way around feeling the pain, discomfort, vulnerability and whatever else might come up. There are so many ways to spend intentional time, some free and some costly, so we need to remind ourselves that as long as we are doing what we can, when we can, we are doing our best and that is enough. Here are some ways we can spend intentional time on healing:

We must do what we can when we can (check out the #wycwyc movement) and make a commitment ourselves. The tools we use will probably be different depending on what we are healing. In my journey I have spent time doing traditional talk therapy, art therapy, egala, EMDR, pranic healing, massage therapy, acupuncture and chiropractic care over the course of my seven-year (and counting!) healing journey. I am working towards radical self-acceptance through loving and caring for my mind and body. Outside of therapy I have focused on building community, detoxing, mindfulness, eating well for my body and the environment, and connecting with others.

"Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."
-Brene Brown

Healing Is F*%#ing Hard 
In order to even begin to heal I had to break over and over again. I have faced my deepest fears and insecurities and unleashed more demons than I knew were there. Healing requires being vulnerable with others, and ourselves, which is often blocked by feelings of shame and negative self worth. It takes courage and willingness to fail and keep going. It is of utmost importance that we forgive ourselves often and leave room for the sadness and uncertainty we are sure to feel as we grow and change. Self-love and care are not simply a part of healing that will help us along the way but they are necessary practices for us to find your inner peace and self. Without active self-care, we will find our healing process much more strenuous and lengthy. Even at your worst moments (panic attacks and mistakes, anyone?) do your best to care for yourself and listen to your pain. 

Healing is Ongoing 
Healing is a windy road with countless stops, hills, turns and forks; It is a road without an end. This idea of lifelong work can be intimidating and overwhelming, but it’s a lifestyle that we can all learn to live. It gets easier as we build the skills and practice taking care of our emotional needs. We can get to a place where healing ourselves is second nature and reacting to sadness or fear means embracing, accepting, and loving ourselves through the toughest moments life throws our way. The longer and harder we work, the more resilient we become. There will always be ups and downs in life. Joy and love cannot exist at their fullest potential without sadness and loss. We all fall down but if we’re conscious and consistent we will learn to bounce back, brush ourselves off, and continue on better and stronger. Healing feels dense and messy at first but once we get our hands dirty it becomes more malleable and our paths become clearer. Disease,trauma, change, mistakes and accidents will still happen and often be out of our control. Once we commit to actively healing it is easier to navigate these difficulties that life throws our way.

 Healing is Worth It 
I believe there is a way to live without the fog of self-doubt, hidden pain and poorly covered wounds. We are capable of loving ourselves and those around us without feeling less than worthy. We are enough. We deserve to feel whole and happy. We deserve to love endlessly and shine our light. The world needs us but more than that, we need ourselves. One phrase that has continually come up for me is, “I have everything I need within me to heal myself. ” This is true for every single one of us. I challenge us to make the commit right now to start actively working to heal our weaknesses, bruises, and battle scars; we will find that we are stronger and more beautiful than we thought possible. We can do it together.

What are you working to heal? What has been helpful to you on your own journey?